Merry Xmmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaassssss.

I hope Santa emptied his bulging sack into your stocking, um er so to speak, and your day was filled with joy, laughter and little Tiffany boxes.

As for me, well for the Ashtons this year Xmas was pretty much cancelled.

Not in any sort of bah-humbug kinda way, just in a my sister is getting married on the 6th January kinda way and so we all can't be bothered.

I rang her a week before Xmas and said: "Uhhhh, have you got me a present? Coz I haven't got you one and if not, well, let's just not hey? You're getting married which is SOOOOO much more important than me spending $30 on a Cook Book don't you think?"

Luckily she agreed and I saved $30, kerching!

I also didn't arrive in the den of evil, oh sorry Christchurch, till Xmas night at 8pm so my parents didn't even have a tree up. So as I say, Xmas is cancelled. The flight was about $100 cheaper so I thought screw it, even if I won't be at the Dux de Lux on Xmas Eve for the first time in 7 years and therefore not find a random man to tongue pash in the Botanical Gardens, I'll save money.

And it wasn't just me saving money.

As I was flying on Xmas Day I would have thought that Air NZ might make some sort of festive effort. But Ebeneezer Airlines didn't even dish out a mince pie. I know times are tight in the airline industry but a bit of tinsel might have been nice. Some of the groundstaff made an effort with wobbly alien antennae with reindeer on top, or the occasional Santa Hat. BUT a splosh of eggnogg and a piece of nougat wouldn't have gone astray.....tightwads.

However I did have a lovely Xmas Dinner at my mates' place in Mt Eden. The happy couple got a Kylie calendar from me which sent them both into a camp tizzy of excitement and I got a nice religious ring with a celebratory pic of a man being tortured on a cross. Some people call it a crucifix but I call it S&M. We then guzzled back copious quantities of wine, fizzy and otherwise and I ate a trifle that had so much sherry in it my liver is now pickled.

The next celebration is New Year's in Tata Beach, Golden Bay way and then the wedding.

There the challenges will be to stop my Dad gorging on quality wine and then insisting on singing "Tonight I celebrate My Love for You" as my sister walks down the aisle, AND stopping one of uncles from trying to tongue pash my friend as he attempted to do at my 21st.

Ahhhhhh family. I'll keep you posted.