Hello from the easy internet cafe in Glasgow. No that's not a place for loose chicks to hang out, but a nice chain of cheap internet in the UK.

We hit the bonny land of Scotland yesterday but as we had last night off we headed to a nice weeeee pub for a traditional meal. I dined on a Stovie, which is a kind of stew involving no offal whatsoever. It may seem weird but the stomach of a cow is not what I consider the best cooking vessel.

Then Sonya and I hit headed to a groovey pub where there were a lot of very pretty Scottish men making unintelligable statements I presume was English but can't be too sure. BUT when we decided to head to another pub everything had bloody shut.

So much for hard partying Glasgow, everything was closed at 12am! Except the clubs of course and so we were herded into a mini-van where we were guranteed free entry to a place called Madness. I wasn't all that hopeful given that most members of the van were missing some teeth and pushing 50, and on arrival I was vindicated in my expectations.

It was hideously hilarious. Santaettes dancing on the bars with the most bored expressions doing choreographed routines to April Sun in Cuba etc.. Think the Palladium c1994, think Leftfield c2001, think Rain c2002 and you get the idea. And if you're not in Auckland, Wellington or ChCh, just think low class, low cut, white pants and bacardi breezers.

Yes I am a raging snob.

Newcastle went well and I got to catch up with my mates from when I was there in May which was lovely. My first poem totally tanked but the latter one made up for it, but after getting the lowest score yet I didn't have a catholic's chance in hell of getting anywhere.

Ahh well.

Wish me luck for tonight!