I'd particularly like to welcome all those who have come to my site after searching for such things as "pink bits" "hot pink teen hos" and "backdoor angel babes". I realise I'm not quite what you were looking for but hey, have a squizz anyways and thanks for upping my hit counter.
ANYWAY
As to what I want to say, I'm having trouble wording exactly what it is that I want to say, as it's all about ...........what I actually do say.
You see I have developed a rather terrible habit of being terribly indiscrete. So terrible in fact I've used the word terrible four times in this paragraph alone.
When it comes to most things I believe a problem shared is a problem halved. Or actually in my case it's more problem 0.0000000001 nd. If I've done something stupid or pashed someone dumb or text "hey big boy come put your snake in my plane" to the ugly guy I met at the karaoke bar who was singing "We're not Going to Take It" then the first thing I have to do is tell someone about it.
"Look what a dickhead I am!" I'll shriek, "How could I be so fucking stupid?" I'll wail. My friends will then smile, cluck their tongues and silently thank god they posess the gene that prevents them from telling me the retarded things they've done coz that would be....well retarded.
From terrible to retarded, even my vocabulary is mocking me.
I guess this wouldn't be so bad if it was only in reference to pashing, groping and draining the battery on my Mum and Dad's car in Christchurch three times in one year. (I know, how retar uh ....silly!) I mean that's not so bad AND self-deprecation is the basis for many a comedy career........or maybe that's masterbation, hhhhm either way.
But you see, I can go soooooooooooooooo much further than that.
Sometimes I have been known to divulge far far far too too too personal details about ..... um .... putting his rumple foreskin in my wheel clamp, slapping his cervical smoocher in my pizza oven, thrusting Sir Throblington in my ahhhh i think you get the idea.
Sex.
I'm terrible, I blurt out intimate details like a bulimic does McDonalds. I'll tell my friend something like...."Oh my god you so won't believe what happened last night....just when I was about to xyz him, his xyz flew up and hit Aunty xyz in the xyz, it was such a mess we had to call the fire brigade."
She'll then laugh and smile awkwardly BUT no where near as awkwardly as she does the next time she sees him and can only think of his xyz flapping about like a newborn fish.
Oh dear.
SO I have resolved to try and be more discrete with someone I've been seeing a bit of lately. I won't say anything at all about his vast chest, gorgeous eyes and almost hilarious jokes. I won't utter a thing about soft lips, sexy smell or ability to lift me up, and I certainly won't mention his accent, which is a pearler.
I'll just say he's quite nice and we've held hands...........quite a few times.
Diddly diddly doo, that's all, nothing to hear here, dum de dum de doo.
There I'm loads better already.
PS His jokes can be quite hilarious but don't tell him that.
Some pics from Teal Bay...
You Talking to Me?
St Helena Bay
Teal Bay
New Zealand's Next Top Model
A few Red Wines
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