I totally love fireworks!

There's just something about grown up boys (and let's face it, it's usually men) blowing stuff up into pretty pictures in the sky that reverts me to a six year old.

It actually makes me go "ooooh" and "aaahhhhh" and grin idiotically at the heavens as gold leaf shimmers it's way down to earth, and as on Saturday night, into my hair and eyes.

You see Saturday was the opening of the Auckland Festival, or as we like to call it, AK07.

My friends and I decided to get there early so as to score a good possie and at 6pm there were only a few thousand there.

There was a little stress caused as members of our party struggled to find us as the thousands became tens, then hundreds of thousands (especially as one of those had the beer and was two hours late) but I would like to extend a thank you to the nice person with a giant pink hand on a white stick that made navigation slightly easier.

And actually it was possibly a godsend my beer arrived late as I therefore never felt the need to trek across the Andes to get to the Port-a-loos. Two of our party disappeared down a crevasse on this trip and were never seen again. OK they found us at the end of the night with tales of stinking sanitary provisions and screeching brats, but it was touch and go.

BUT I digress.

The fireworks were provided by Groupe F, a French troupe of technical wizards who produced explosions like I've never seen. An entire sky filled with the aforementioned gold leaf, enormous pillars of fire that you could feel singe your eyebrows and the finest showers of gold I've ever seen this side of a porn video.

You were so close to the action that on numerous occasions you were gently tickled by embers falling all over you. I even got some in my eye but wasn't too bothered, (unlike a porn video) and it really was quite choice!

One sour note was seen near me in some manly argy-bargy, as is always the way in huge gatherings of people. You see one swathe of people decided they needed to stand up to see things and so there was lots of angry yelling of "SIT DOWN" and in one case a brawl nearly erupted when one fat man was yelling at another fat man to park his sizeable ass. They were barrel chest to barrel chest and I had visions of toddlers flying into a column of fire but unfortunately..... oops sorry I mean fortunately, that didn't happen, and just like a spent wick the situation was diffused. (See what I did there.)

And then it was all over, 500 kilos of explosives (or something huge that like that I can't quite remember or find on Google) gone up in a puff of smoke. (See what I did there.) And lots of giggling reverted toddlers madly flicking through their digital cameras to see pics that will never truly encompass how like totally cool it all was.

Helen Clarke, our sexy fashion plate of a PM summed it all up nicely in her speech that opened AK07; "Auckland is rocking tonight." Man is she groovey and down with the kids, but indeed it was.

It was one smoking night of entertainment, that went off with a bang created by some luminary bright sparks of the the visual spectacular industry to light up our lives in an incendiary fashion. (Uhhhh I think you saw what I did there.)

Some snaps to illuminate your day....(I promise I'll stop now)











The Otago Goldrush Hits Auckland











Artist's Impression of Australia











Child Impedes my View but Makes Pretty Pic











Attempts to Incinerate Child Fail











Artist's Impression of Toi Toi











Artist's Impression of Jazz Hands