ANYWAYS I have therefore decided to kick myself into action and will be coming to you at least weekly from now on.
If
you haven't seen I am a weekly gossip monger on the Good Morning
Television show and as such am blogging on their fine website each week.
I have decided to re-blog it here as well, with all the scandalous
juicy sweary bits in it.
Enjoy.
SO that time has rolled around again, it’s Gossip Wench Wednesday and I am kicking off a brand new blog on all the shenanigans I intrepidly report on for all you saucy Good Morning –philes.
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| Kate is welcomed by South Pacific Boobies |
This week we can look no further than Kate Middleton’s
moment in the erm…sun. You’d have to be living under a corgi hutch to not have
heard that The Duchess of Shamebridge was snapped sunning her vol-au-vents in a
French Chateaux recently. Many,
including that bastion of good taste Donald Trump, have weighed in on the topic,
declaring her foolish to get her pretty pink princesses out in public. However One thinks it must be safe to
assume when One is nearly one kilometre away from Ones access road that One may hope no nasty little pappa-nasty with a camera can see you.
Gallant Prince Willie is very concerned to see Her Royal
Pertness treated in a similar fashion to his mother and so the Palace have
filed a birthday suit lawsuit against the sordid mag Closer. Sadly an Irish paper, aggrieved by
hundreds of years of the English rubbing their assets in their face, have also published them and an Italian
magazine owned by that other bastion of good taste, Pervio Berlusconi, will
follow (birthday) suit.
I just think it’s sad Kate didn’t turn sideways. Then no one would have been able to
spot her at all.
| Foundation Face and Fruity reconcile. |
Millions of Twihards the world over are seething at the news
that Trampire and her Prince Twarming have reconciled and are back together
which means he will never be theirs.
Yup “apparently” K-Stew and R-Pattz have thrown off the silver shackles
of infidelity and are shimmering gloriously in the sun once more. Seems that
Rob has realised that everyone makes mistakes, (just look at his hair) and has
taken the contrite actress back into his cold undead bosom. Awwwww.
| As you can see in the 70's it was No Abs Required. |
Speaking of cold bosoms...in startling revelations Roger Moore has …. erm revealed
that he has bedded far more women that James Bond ever has. Considering James Bond is a figment of
someone’s imagination this isn’t all that surprising. I can claim the same in
fact.
Pedantic quibbles aside Moore certainly was a prime side of
British gristle in his day, but when I see his current pics this story makes me
a little queasy. I like my sex symbols without Zimmer frames and a possible
threat of cardiac arrest. Watching
Sean Connery cheer on Andy Murray made me worry for his prostate, and that’s
just not sexy.
But back to Roger, which is what he did, a lot. More Roger Moore…. More Roger MORE,
Roger me Moore…
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| I feel pretty oh so prettyyyyy |
This next story makes me very nearly lose the will to live,
but I like picnic bars and floral frocks so will live to fight another day. But
should I lose that will again all I have to do is jump into the passenger seat
of either Amanda Bynes or Lindsay Lohan’s car and my dilemma will be
sorted. Both these female
Charlie Sheen wannabes are constantly in trouble with the Police due to their
love of smashing into other cars, often while smashed, or just being silly
little Prima Donna wastes of botoxed human skin. I can hardly bring myself to comment on them further but apparently
they are feuding over who is worse.
So I will solve it.
They both suck and both risk other people’s lives with their
dangerous driving and reckless stupidity. That was a bit serious… moving on.
My shock look of the week is recidivist offender Lady Gaga. Though to be fair when a woman is a walking work of art, offender is the wrong word. She beats her own drum Ms Germanotta (whatever Madonna whinges) and we all like to see what happens next.
This week she opened milliner Philip Treacy’s London Fashion
Week show. Treacy is known for having
a weirdly spelled name and for creating such legendary hats as Princess Beatrice’s
IUD crossed with a startled moose fascinator from the Royal Wedding. Here Gaga
is sporting a floral wreath which would make it difficult to poke her face….
Just saying.
Below is a pic I shopped for GM but we didn't run with the Nicky Minaj story in the end, I like it though. So here it is.
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