Short Sighted Change

Hurrruummmph.

Hurrummpph harruummpph harruummpphh

Poos and wees.

Hurumph.

I have a bone to pick with Mr Barack Obama.  With his banging on and on about change some people in NZ took it all a little seriously and "changed" our government too.  As my friend said on her status update "Change is the new "c" word".

I can understand wanting change when your president is a war mongering liar who reads children's books upside down and says things like: ""Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we".  BUT when your leader is a top chick who just happens to have a deep voice and bad teeth everyone wants to "Kill that bitch." 

I simply do not understand the level of hatred hurled in Helen Clark's direction.  You would think she was going around the country digging up people's grannies and defiling them with crucifixes the way some people bang on about her.  She was always lovely kind and sweet, oh OK so maybe not BUT whenever she wasn't I'm sure it was just coz of her period.  Yes well.

BUT whatever the reason for the vitriol we are stuck with National again, along with their mincing chihuahua, the paso doble patrician, Rodney Hide, and their unfeasibly quiffed Jesus Fish Flip-Flop Artist, Peter Dunne.  AARRRGGGHHH.  Pack of twits the lot of them.

I think I might move to Ohio, now that's a place known for its progressive leftist governance.

Nah I'll stay in Auckland Central, a national electorate for the FIRST TIME EVER (thanks Electorate Vote Green) and be a horn in their side.  

I even got a little teary when Helen Clark resigned!  OK who am I kidding I out and out cried.  Man I even surprised myself with that one, maybe she is a lesbian after-all and I fancy her.  EEEwwwwwwww OK OK, now even as much as I love Helen Clark that's a mental image I'm grappling with.  Let's just say I think she did a top job.  I bet her hubby is rapt.  He can get on with his clandestine homo escapades unencumbered and will never have to answer the question; "Do you like sex" from the Right Wing News Elite, oh sorry I meant The NZ Herald.

In fact I reckon there were a few sighs of relief.  Judith Tizard mentioned her garden needed doing, Derek Fox has a Maori Media empire to rule over and Winston Peters needs to fuck off and die.

Sorry...did I write that out loud.  Ooops. 

Still his somewhat drunken speech mentioning the wonders of "democwashy" was priceless and when he pretended to forget Simon Bridges' name there was much hilarity at my Potluck Dinner.  The new National MP for Tauranga is only 31, he was still pooing his pants and growing teeth when Winston fought his way into parliament in 1978, and he STILL trounced Winnie by 10 000 votes.  Oh he knew his name alright.

ANYWAYS the die has been cast, the people have spoken and unfortunately lots of them were dickheads.  BUT people often are.  Some of you reading might even think I am a dickhead, but then you're a dickhead so who cares.

I look forward to this brave new wonderful world of fulfilled promises, higher wages, increased literacy, less crime and more Tangos.  Hey maybe Rodney can be the Foreign Minister and solve peace in Israel....

Dancing with the Hezbollah's. 

We will see.