Well that earlier Dec 2nd wee post is somewhat embarrassing when one is confronted with the reality of ones drinking. For a start one starts speaking like a twat using 'one' all the time as if 'one' was someone else.

So I'll dispense of that now, here's some poetry:

For the holiday season next year
I think I'll just save time
Fill a drip and IV with Festive Cheer
And shoot it up mainline

And another malaise of this season goes like this:

It’s official there is no god
If there was a benevolent one
One who watched over us and secured our peace of mind
One who protected us from the daily dealings with the devil
Then at no time would any woman
Ever have to go
Swimsuit shopping

Yes well, I do need a new swimsuit and believe I found one online. When you are blessed, as I am, with Kate Mosses missing bits from her breasts, finding a swimsuit that doesn't make you look like you're polishing your knees with your mammaries is difficult. All the charming, dainty fabulous costumes are wildly unsuitable unless you simply don't care that your areola pokes out the side.

Therefore Bravissimo.co.uk is an hourglass' 20/20 sight perfect shop. And I highly recommend it.

Christmas and NY's were lovely thanks for asking. Christmas was spent with a great family up the Sky Tower, gorging on a buffet and ripping the heads off prawns which is something I have discovered I don't like at all. I don't like having to prepare my own food in a restaurant, I mean the next thing they'll be asking me to fillet some steak and slaughter a Hummus. Honestly.

NY was spent luxuriating in frankly gorgeous weather on the Coromandel at Whitianga and various beaches surrounding. Matarangi was truly stunning, and not only for being the beach that killed Nicky Watson's dog. Poor wee Cricket, but his demise got more media coverage than Benazir A Buto's so enough of him.

NY's itself was spent pogo-ing at Mickeys The Irish Bar at the School Disco. Yep it was all 70's and 80's so we shook our groovethings, were dancing queens (literally) found our Sweet Dreams and Thrilled the locals. I think the younguns were a bit scared of the crazed townies fuelled by Turbo Shandies which are Becks and a Smirnoff Ice in a pint glass. Sounds hideous, tastes just like lemonade and makes you dance like crazy bitches. Sweet.

Back to the real world now of preparing for the Adelaide Fringe and the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Buuuuut I just might make it to the Coromandel one more time before I go.

Here's paradise............
















Matarangi