So here are some fabulously silly pics for the post below. Yes I am arse about face. (Which is to say I'm "back the front" as opposed to butt ugly.)



Paul Thorne dressed as Me. HHHHmmmm.

About to be kissed where I wasn't expecting to be in order to turn into a Queen like the man on his knees.....where he usually is I'm sure.
Rob Gee has two beers in one hand and tits in another, Life doesn't get any better..... well maybe if the tits weren't beanbags.
Paul Thorne has changed back into himself rather then being me.

Paul and I suckle my Tits together, quite a feat.

Rob comes onto Kristian in a typically English Way.
Canada's Next Top Models

Yes there was alcohol involved in Spoof Night.

Alison kicks Spandex Butt!
Rob Plays Alex Eddington from The Fugue Code to an A.

My Jenny Award for Best Bumper and Peeler from Winnipeg.

Jenny, my love.

OOhhh some poster whore has been here in Winnipeg Beer Garden. And here on a lampost.


Some old churchy thing.

A Furry suited up and waiting for some Police Loving.

Johnny P in Market Square Winnipeg

As the fabulous German Band Die Roten Punkte would say....... "Danke Saskatoooooooon!"

Today I head to Edmonton to continue this Fringe Odyssey, or should I say Penelopiad, and as I drive out of town stuffed into someone else's car I will smile fondly back at the little Fringe that could.

With only 55 shows here it's certainly the smallest Fringe on tour but I have had a brilliant time here and I even sold two CD's. It helped that I finally remembered to tell an audience I had some with me, that is usually the key to selling them.

We've all gotten to know each other here that little bit better. Drinking beer and dancing til 4am to Madonna and Basement Jaxx will do that really. But we've also thought about each other's shows in whole new ways.

Last two nights have been spoof night when we each drew the name out of a hat of another show and then presented a three minute spoof of that show. I was spoofed by the lovely Paul Thorne who is an English stand-up. (.Photos below) He seemed to think I was talking about the number 6 as opposed to SEX. He may have been mocking my accent (not to mention my tits) but I choose to believe he wouldn't be so mean.

It was a freakin hilarious evening if a little nerve wracking. I had no idea if my spoof of The Frog and Toad are Not Friends and Never Will Be and This is Why would be at all funny. Turns out if you turn a kid's show in a gay amphibian love story with a donkey rutting scene thrown in, people like it!

Who'd have thought.

Anyways I have to pack up, photos will be posted soon!

So imagine this scene, you've amassed a very decent crowd with seven hours of flyering on the streets of Saskatoon.

You're waiting backstage eager to knock their socks off.

Your intro music comes (even if the tech is a moron who keeps fucking it up even with repeated instruction.)

You waltz on ready to charm the pants of the Tooners when.......no lights. Nothing, nada, zip, ix-nay on the ights-nay, kaput.

Said technician starts making frantic manoeuvres at the back of the stage as he tries to fix the problem but.............nothing.

Then like a beacon to a lost sailor on a shipwrecked plank the FOH lady shines a torch at me from the back of the room. Then eager beavers (we are in Canada) in the audience join in and all of a sudden I'm bathed slightly in torchlight so what the hell, I start my show.

I do five minutes of material like this before the tech gets the board back up and running. I thank him for that but not for the ensuing mistakes in the show making me look silly.

However it'll be a night I remember for quite some time!

OH and here's another fab review :)

Hot Pink Bits
Venue 7 – The Conservatory
Hilarious! Hilarious! Hilarious! Some audience members were laughing so hard that they were in tears. A solid show from Kiwi performer Penny Ashton, aka “Mistress Hot Bits”. She takes us along, through the “ins and outs” of the global sex trade in a funny, well-rounded way. From porn to prostitution, from S&M to furries, she talks about it all.

While not glossing over the obvious negative impacts of the sex trade, she still manages to present it all in an upbeat beat fashion, deliver laugh after laugh. The show is very smart and full of interesting facts and statistics about the sex trade. Did you know that it was only one year after the first film was released that the first porno film was released? … Well, you would know this and much more if you saw this show. Lots of games, songs, audience participation, and free stuff. A true gem, this show may certainly be the best comedy at the Fringe this year.

- Cindy Murdoch UMFM

Well here I sit in my tiny room that I'm sharing with the lovely Alison from a play called The Fugue Code in tiny Toon Town otherwise known as Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.

Now don't get me wrong, if there was anyone in the world easier to share a room with I'd be very surprised. But I haven't shared a room since my sister moved out when I was about ten and I like it that way.

It's like having a boy over to stay but with none of the fringe benefits of the occasional orgasm and a manly chest to lie on.

I'm also staying in a rather devout household with many a picture of Jesus dotted about and much talk of christian ethics and church. As an atheist this is a new environment for me BUT I was dragged up proper and I can be respectful. They have been nothing but entirely generous and lovely and kind with driving me about the place BUT I'm not sure they'll be taking in my show about the sex industry and if they do I confess (not with a priest of course) to be pleased my piss-take of the Lord's prayer which comes complete with the lines: "Give us this day our daily head" and "Ahhhhh lots of men" is not in the international version of my show.

A-hem.

I have only done one show here so far which had a whole 21 people attending. But as it was 4pm on a Thursday on the first day of the Fringe with no one about on the street I was thrilled with that. Is funny how our expectations change from day to day. I am also performing here in a school gym. Oh the dizzy heights of fame where I get changed next to a hockey net and some plastic hockey sticks. (Probably the Canadian equivalent of Kiwi Cricket.)

My tech also didn't turn up til 15 mins before I was supposed to go on on Thursday, so that was exciting too. (Though not as exciting as in Winnipeg where the group before me took off with my CD and I nearly had to cancel my last show as I stupidly had no back-up and was bawling in the theatre calling then cunts when it came running in the door.)

But apart from that Winnipeg rocked the party! I won Best of Fest, got a four and a half star review in the Winnipeg Sun (see below) and made some brilliant friends. That town sure knows how to Fringe with some couples taking in 60 or 70 shows in the course of 10 days! Personally my eyes would start to bleed if I did that I think but I saw around 22 shows.

I also got two of the worst reviews in my life in Winnipeg, well actually the only 2 truly bad reviews in my life ever. And one of these was from the same show as the 4 1/2 star review in the Sun. Proving art is entirely subjective indeed. I could go into some in depth analysis of their reasons for not enjoying my show but I think I'll just call them twats. SO there, twats.

OOOOOhhh I'm so mature.

Anyways I have to go and break bread for lunch and then get my pink ass down to the festival centre to flyer. Wish me luck.

Ahhhhhhhh lots of men.