And no this isn't yet another column about sex....but rather I am feeling the need to post poetry on a more regular basis I think, so here's one dedicated to where I'm about to spend the next two hours....the gym.
It's a place filled with pain, sweat, gym instructors screeching "ARE YOU FEELING ALRIGHT!" and many a gay boy eyeing up many another gay boy....well maybe that's just Les Mills, but it's where I spend an inordinate amount of time feeling like this:
Exercise
Exercise
Taut trim thighs
Butt I’d like to minimise
Seeking out adrenaline highs
So to lose a dress size
Exercise
Is it really wise
Joints grind and muscle fries
All for that elusive prize
Of Perfection, but who decides?
Exercise
Don’t economise
Lycra stocks are on the rise
I’ll only sweat into merchandise
Lovingly made by teenage Thais
Exercise
Euphoric cries
Smiling gym bunnies, must die
Perfect teeth I’d like to prise
Apart and force feed chicken pies
Exercise
Resigned sighs
The rate that I metabolise
Means I’ll be there til my demise
Gotta love that exercise
My Exercise Outfit from 1983
3 comments:
I want some leg warmers just like that.
Ahhhhh well you can get some in 1983. You could use them as a tube to lug about your impending bundle of joy. xo
That's a funny thought. I wanted to wear them on my legs to detract from the extremely fat arse, hips and stomach I seem to be developing, but I see now that they would have an extra use post-birth. Great. Now, if I can just lay my hands to a time machine...
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